


V: Vengeance

by brokxnharry



Series: Teen Wolf A-Z Challenge (with songs) [22]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Attempted Sexual Assault, Cora Hale & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Derek Deserves Nice Things, Derek Hale & Scott McCall Friendship, Future Fic, Guilty Derek, Hale Family Feels, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Road Trips, Scott is a Good Friend, Stiles Stilinski Saves The Day, Traumatized Derek, and he finally gets them, season 4 and 5 didn't happen, sterek fluff, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 16:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12257985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokxnharry/pseuds/brokxnharry
Summary: " Woah, woah, woah, Derek? This is about Derek? Explain."" I don't know much, I got a call from Cora's number, and it was him. He said there was something wrong with Cora, that she was dying, and he needed my help."" Stiles, we have our jobs, and I have those classes I'm taking, and, we can't just drive across the country, whenever he asks us to. That's not how it works."or,It's been three years since Stiles has last heard his voice. But Cora's in trouble, and he can't lose another one of his friends. He also can't pretend not to miss almost everything about Derek. So what if he has to drive 3,000 miles to get there?





	V: Vengeance

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Vapour - Vancouver Sleep Clinic

" Hello? Cora? It's so late, what are you doing?" He groaned, so incredibly tired, not so angry though.

" Wait, are you okay? Can you not speak? Is there somebody there? You're being threatened, aren't you? Okay, okay, if you're being held against your will, just, whistle once, can you do that? Shit, Cora, did you accidentally wolf out in public again? That's it, isn't it? You want me to help cover it up. **_Cora_** ," He was sitting up now, digging his fisted palms into his eyes, ridding them of sleep, or what was left of it.

" Stiles." **_Shit_**. Shit, shit, shit. " It's.. it's Derek." Of course it was. It had to be. Which stage of grief was he at now, again? He had to remember to shove that bullshit book so far up Lydia's ass, she'd never try to psychologically analyze him again. He also had to remember to breathe. And hang up. He should definitely do that too.

" Are you, are you there?"

" Why are you calling me? Where is Cora?"

" I need your help."

" You have **_got_** to be kidding me."

" I know you don't owe me anything,"

" Damn right I don't." Stiles rolled his eyes, hand in his hair, his bare feet standing by the window, making sure it was still locked. It'd been locked for years now, since Derek stopped wanting to come through it. Stopped wanting to come at all.

" There's something wrong with Cora. I didn't know who else to call. I- I don't know what to do, Stiles." Derek's voice trembled, broke around his sister's name. Stiles buried his fingers further into his hair, pretended they weren't trembling along.

" Why didn't you call Deaton?"

" Out of town."

" Peter?"

" I can't call my crazy uncle who previously killed my sister, to help me out with the only sister I have left."

" Okay, fair enough. I don't know, call Chris, or Lydia, or just, someone that isn't me. I can't help you. You can't expect me to. I'm going to hang up now,"

" She's dying, Stiles." He heard the _I'm going to lose her too_ that Derek choked on, suffocated in his throat, before it could ever come out.

" I'm sorry, that's just.. it's not my problem anymore. I- I hope she gets better, I really, really, do. But I can't be there for that. I won't be. I. I have to go, bye, Derek." He threw his phone away before he heard something like his name, whispered and desperate and sounding so much like how Derek always called for him. There were these variations of his name, of how Derek rolled his tongue around it; angry, or fond, or threatening, but they all had that thing, that quiver somewhere between the _t_ and _l_ , that was careful and kind and fearful in a way that Derek very rarely allowed himself to be.

Stiles paced his room, trying to tire down his racing mind, that was still chasing after Derek, even after all this time. It'd been three years, since losing.. everyone they'd lost. And it'd driven Derek away. It'd done things to Stiles, he couldn't really deny that. And he'd tried looking for him, or Cora, or just, someone. He'd spent nights driving around, with a map that he couldn't read, and a radio that only ever roared with static noise. He'd read so many books about locating someone, or tracing them, but he'd needed something of Derek's. Something that he'd left behind, and he hadn't known how to use himself, because it'd felt like Derek had left nothing else. Had taken it all with him.

" Goddammit. Fuck, fuck, fuck, **_shit_**." He took his phone, collected some pants and shoes and decided he wouldn't need any boxer-changes, because, how long was it going to take anyway?

" Dad, I'm going out of town. Don't wait up."

" Wait, what?" The sheriff groaned, sounding like he was asleep too.

" Werewolf business. I'll keep you posted."

" Wait, did you say **_out of town_**? Stiles, your truck won't make it that far." The Jeep had taken quite a beating, that night with the parental sacrifices and the Jennifer death and the Scott-true-Alpha thing. Stiles got it fixed enough to drive it around for a year or two, but when he was done with High School, the sheriff got him this used truck, that was almost as old as his Jeep. Maybe –and that was a **_huge_** maybe- a slightly newer model, barely two years apart, if anything. But Stiles loved it. It was his baby, that he loved just as much as he loved his first baby, because Stiles wasn't one to discriminate.

" Bye, dad. Love you."

" Yeah, love you too." Stiles had an apple in his mouth, as he jumped across the front yard, trying to put on his shoes, without slowing his pace. He threw his belongings in the backseat, starting his car and driving to Scott's house. It was around 5am by now and he hoped Melissa had a night shift, because he was kind of in a hurry, and taking her son out of the house to drive to another city during these hours of the late night/early morning, probably wouldn't go over well with her.

" Scott, open the door, buddy, it's Stiles, come on." Stiles didn't bother with calling Scott first, because when did that ever work?

" Scott, we need to get moving, come **_on_** , I, oh, hey Ms. Mccall. Did I wake you?" Melissa was walking away before Stiles could get all his words out.

" Sorry!" He called after her anyway, rushing up the stairs to Scott's room, and jumping into his bed.

" Scott, we're going on a road trip, so pack what you can and lets go." Stiles was shaking Scott's body, poking and tickling and sliding his fingers across his bare skin, but Scott was so used to this by now, that he didn't react at all. He just moved his head away from Stiles, put his pillow over it, and continued to sleep.

" Fine, I'm going to save Derek's ass alone then, suit yourself."

" Woah, woah, woah, Derek? This is about **_Derek_**? Explain." It was kind of astonishing, how alert and focused Scott suddenly was, sitting there, cross-legged, with a pillow on his lap, to rest his elbows against.

" I don't know much, I got a call from Cora's number, and it was him. He said there was something wrong with Cora, that she was dying, and he needed my help." Stiles shrugged, wondered if Scott could smell the unease on him, the longing.

" Okay, but Cora is in.."

" Miami, last I heard."

" That's… thousands of miles away from here." Scott's eyebrows furrowed, his fingers moving in a calculating manner, although, Stiles could tell, he had absolutely no idea how far Miami actually was.

" About 3,000 miles. More or less."

" Stiles, we have our **_jobs_** , and I have those classes I'm taking, and, we can't just drive across the country, whenever he asks us to. That's not how it works." Scott shook his head, putting the pillow away, and standing, like he was trying to gain authority, take control of the situation. Or something.

" I know, I know. I'm not doing it for him," Scott scoffed then, not needing to hear the flutter in Stiles' heartbeat, to find the lie. Stiles pushed on anyway.

" I'm not, but if Cora really is in trouble, we have to at least try to help. She helped us too, remember? With.. you know, everything." Everything about Scott kind of.. fell. Stiles hated himself a little, for tugging at the wound, that never healed quite right. Felt like it never would.

" Listen, you don't have to come. I just thought I should let you know, so that you wouldn't worry. I can go by myself, call in with any updates, it's okay, really."

After the nogitsune, they both had trouble pulling away from one another. Scott couldn't sleep, in fear of his friend straying too far, losing any more bits of himself. Stiles couldn't sleep at all. Until, one night, Scott was calling for Stiles, and he had his headphones in, so he couldn't really hear it. Scott ended up breaking through the front door, collapsing as soon as he found his best friend's heartbeat, steady and present. Stiles could barely carry his own weight, but he still helped his friend up the stairs, and into his bed, where they both kind of folded onto each other, cried their eyes raw, until they'd fallen asleep. They decided to kind of always do it like that, kind of always be nearby, in case the other needed it. 

Stiles was smiling reassuringly, standing from Scott's bed, and collecting the bag he'd disregarded. He might have been sighing a bit too dramatically, dragging his body across the room, but he had to at least try to guilt-trip his best friend into tagging along. Scott never had a problem using those ridiculous puppy dog eyes for anything before, so Stiles considered this his payback. It didn't seem to be working though, as he walked down the stairs, to the front door, choosing not to yell out his goodbye to Melissa, in case she'd gone back to sleep. But as soon as he started his truck, the passenger door was opened, and Scott was buckling his seatbelt, after throwing his own bag into the backseat. Stiles could barely contain his rather smug grin, as he started driving.

Scott remained uncharacteristically quiet, frown itched between his eyebrows, uneven jaw ticked, like he was biting down on his teeth, to keep from talking. Stiles took out the map, tried to give it to Scott, but he put it down in his lap, and looked out the window again, trying to make some sort of point. Which, Stiles didn't get, because if his point was that he was childish and immature, then yeah, he definitely proved that part. Stiles rolled his eyes, looked away, and decided that two could play that game. Except, no, games related to silence were never Stiles' strong suit. He couldn't swallow his words, couldn't find any sort of comfort in the quiet.

" Are you going to be like that throughout the whole thing? I don't mind, I just would like to know." Scott crossed his arms against his chest, breathed out through his mouth, and continued to act like Stiles wasn't there at all. Like things would stop happening, if he thought about it hard enough.

" Seriously, if you're not on board with this, why did you even come? I said I could handle it, told you I'd give you all the updates, so what's with the attitude?"

" You know damn well I wouldn't let you travel to another **_city_** to see him on your own." Stiles was smiling again, despite the deepening frown across his friend's face. God, he loved Scott. It was kind of ridiculous, really.

" Alright, so what's the problem? What are you pissed about?"

" I'm pissed because it's been three years, and he hasn't called any of us, **_once_**. He knows nothing, he's been there for nothing, and now, when he's the one in trouble, he calls, and what, we're supposed to drop everything and be there? And **_you_**. What the fuck are you doing, Stiles? You have a life now. You have a job and friends and family and he doesn't fit in there anymore."

" I know that, Scott, but,"

" So what are you trying to do, huh? Why- why do you keep going back, Stiles? He didn't stay. He is never **_going_** to stay. Not for you, not for anyone. And that's okay, for him, but it's not for you. And you- you need to stop trying to make it okay. It's not. It's never going to be okay for him to leave like that. And you're still fucking running, as soon as he calls. What **_is_** that?" Scott's arms were thrown away from him, hitting against the window and the back of his chair and all the things he needed to touch to get his point across, make his words sound like something that wasn't as desperate as his voice. His eyes were wide and so, so, angry, but Stiles thought there was something sad there too. And he wished he could claw that out of him, crack him wide open and take everything that was broken. But then, there would be very little left of him.

" Now, you're just being a dick." Stiles sniffled, looked away from his friend, so spread apart, like he was trying to make himself bigger.

" I'm just saying, man. You.. you need to not have hope about anything with him. He left, and he didn't come back. Even when he needed you, needed us, he still, called us over. We're the ones who went to him, not the other way around. I just, don't want you to be disappointed. Don't want you to break your heart over him again." If Stiles could spare his friend a glance, he would see the tiredness, itched so deeply within his features, he almost couldn't see anything past it. Scott was just that. Just tired.

" That's a bit hypocritical, don't you think? Considering how many times you went back yourself." He didn't mean to go there. He really didn't. He just, really wanted Scott to stop talking. Really needed to stop thinking about Derek and all the pieces he'd left Stiles in.

" Now who's being a dick?" Scott scoffed, sat back and tried not to think of the weight of her limp body, between his arms, and how it felt like it wasn't enough. Not enough time with her, not enough life, not enough screaming, not enough time to grieve her.

" You're the one who keeps acting like your thing is more valid than mine, like, it means more, or,"

" That's because it does, okay? I'm sorry but it does. She was the first person I've ever fallen in love with. I thought I had the rest of my life with her, and she died, and it sucked. It's always going to suck. But when shit hit the bat, he left. She was dead, and you were almost there too, and he **_left_**. That's not the same thing. It's not. Losing the person you loved most, is nothing like them leaving you behind. Especially, when you were the one who-" Stiles' head was thrown around its axis so suddenly, it kind of felt like it would snap off. They were too close to the _you did this, you killed her, killed them all_ area that they never touched on before. Should never go anywhere near. Scott was immediately shrinking into himself, weighed down by his immediate remorse. His eyes pleading, even in the way they ran away from Stiles, like if he saw how his words looked across his friend's face, he'd just shatter.

" Yeah, uh, we need to stop for gas, and, um,"

" Stiles,"

" No, no. I'd shut up if I were you. So, gas," Scott sighed, took out his phone, and tried to find the nearest gas station. And when they stopped, Scott went to use the bathroom and get some snacks, while Stiles filled the tank up with gas. Then, they were back on the road, and neither of them knew what to say. It took them a full day, to get there, with minimal stops, and almost no sleep between the two of them. They each called their respective parent to inform them of their safe arrival, before taking their bags, and climbing the stairs to Cora's apartment, that she'd mentioned to Stiles on Skype once, back when she first moved in.

Derek was pacing, with his phone against his ear, trying to get to Chris' number, despite his skin crawling at the thought of asking an Argent for help, trusting them with his family, again. But then, there was a knock on the door, and Stiles and Scott were standing there, and he was hit with the overwhelming urge to cry. He didn't though.

" Stiles,"

" Yeah, we're here. No introductions needed, I assume. So, let's see it, where is she? What do we know?" Stiles walked around Derek, careful not to step too close, seem too comfortable, although, it all felt so familiar, so easy, like time hadn't passed at all.

" Over there." Derek pointed towards the bed, where Cora was, her skin ashy, wrinkled, almost, decayed. She was so still, her figure barely moving around the breaths both Derek and Scott could hear, but not really Stiles.

" Shit, how long has she been like that? What happened?" Stiles put his hand to her cold forehead, wondered if they were too late, if she died anyway.

" She was out with her friends, they went to this new club downtown. I was asleep when I heard something hit into the door, and when I opened it, she was just, on the ground, like someone left her there, for me to find, I don't know. I tried everything, but she won't wake up. I've been taking her pain, but I don't know **_where_** it's coming from. I just, don't know."

" Yeah, we got that part." Scott rolled his eyes, putting his hand to Cora's leg, and taking as much of her pain as he could, but there was so much of it. He wondered how Derek was still upright, having taken it all by himself, for the past day or so. Then, he reminded himself that he didn't care.

" I don't think I've seen this before. It could be anything, like, a spell, or, some mind-control type of shit, I don't know, I need to research this, and I need to call Lydia, since Deaton is out of reach. Did you manage to get to Chris?" It was the first time that Stiles allowed himself to look at Derek, and not just around him. There were white hairs in his beard now, but his hair was shorter, styled differently, and Stiles hated how all the jokes he thought of, would go to waste, because they just weren't there anymore.

" No, I don't know if I have the wrong number, maybe he changed it, or,"

" Jeez, I wonder why. Let me try, I'll see if he knows anything." Scott walked away, retrieving his phone, and almost immediately getting through. Derek frowned, looking away from Scott, and to Stiles.

" What's up with him?"

" Forget it. I'll start on my books, hopefully, there will be something in there to help us."

" How can I help? What should I do?" Stiles turned back to Derek, seeing something across his eyes, kind of like fear. Like helplessness. He swore he saw the devastation itching closer, like Derek was preparing himself for the loss.

" Just stay with your sister. Take her pain. I'll let you know if there's anything else for you to do." Stiles walked away, before he could see Derek's arm reached out for him, standing in the air, his fingers twitching with an ache to latch on, before it fell beside him, defeated.

" Chris said to check her head, for any weird marks or dots, or something." Derek put his fingers through his sister's hair, separating it enough to get a closer look at her skull, and indeed, the skin looked almost raw, like it was bleeding a layer or two beneath the exterior, so close to the surface.

" What does this **_mean_**?" Derek whined, frantically skimming through his sister's head, trying to find anything else that he could have missed, anything that he could have done to stop this from happening.

" If she was in a bar or a club or somewhere crowded, then Chris thinks she could have been drugged."

" Her body would have flushed it out by now. It doesn't work on werewolves, like alcohol, or,"

" He says to look into Emotional Vampires or Demons of sorts. That's all he knows." Scott put his phone away, looked between Derek and Stiles, before deciding to drop next to his friend on the couch. He put an arm across his face, wishing this would all blow over soon, so that he could finally get some damn sleep.

" Oh, shit. I think I know what this is. Goddammit." Stiles flipped through the pages, throwing away books and finding others, until he stopped, his finger following the words, his mouth opening and closing in horror.

" Stiles?" Derek inched closer, slowly putting his sister's arm back beside her.

" Okay, okay, okay. I think this bastard is a cross between a Demon and a Lethifold and an Emotion Eater."

" What?"

" It says here, that it takes the shape of a human, so it could have been anyone she met at that club. It feeds on rage and vengeance and all that great stuff. It specifically targets werewolves, preferably Omegas, because their grip on control isn't that strong. It puts them to sleep, gets inside their heads, and brings the worst scenarios to life. And, they don't feel like dreams. Like, to Cora, whatever she's seeing in her head right now, it's a real life situation, one that makes her angry, and when she gets through this one, it gives her another, and another, until, she completely loses her human side. She goes feral, and then it, it kills her." Stiles threw the book away like he'd been burned, his hands running across his face, despite their tremble.

" That's.. that's it? She is just going to, she's going to die?" Derek's voice fell into a whisper, like it was some sort of secret, like the universe couldn't know that it was about to take the last of Derek's family, the one person he had left in the world.

" No, no. Fuck, no. We need to do something. We're not giving up yet." Stiles unclenched his hands, standing on slightly wobbly legs, his eyes falling onto Cora's unmoving figure, as he struggled to remember how she once looked, to trace all the differences the years had carved into her.

" Okay, so, first, we need to know exactly what happened at that club, to be able to know what the thing's vessel looks like. There must be cameras there, so I'm going to go to the club, and you two stay with Cora?"

" You're not going there alone, that's not happening." Scott growled out. Derek nodded along in agreement.

" Fine. One of you can come with me, the other stays here. You decide which is it."

" I'll go." Both Scott and Derek said at the same time. Stiles snorted, crossing his arms against his chest, and waiting to see how this would play out.

" He's my best friend."

" She's my sister."

" Exactly why you should stay here with her."

" I should be out there, trying to find whatever did this to her."

" We'll do it for you, like we always do."

" Now, what's **_that_** supposed to mean?"

" What did it sound like to you, Derek?"

" I don't have time for this, right now. You're being a child."

" Oh am I now?"

" Yes, you are. And I'm going to the club. End of discussion."

" You did **_not_** just say that to me. You don't get to pull that shit on me anymore, Derek. I'm not leaving him alone with you. I don't trust you, alright? Clear enough for you, or do I need to explain this one to you too?"

" I've never laid a finger on him, what the fuck?"

" That is nowhere near the point I'm trying to make here."

" Scott, we're running out of time."

" I know that, so stay with your sister, and let us solve this shit, and go home, as far away from you as possible."

" I can't just sit around and not do anything to help."

" Why not? It's nothing new to you."

" What the fuck are you talking about?"

" Okay, **_enough_**!" Stiles yelled, stomping his feet into the ground, in an attempt to make as much noise as possible. It seemed to work, since they both stopped latching out on each other, and turned to stare at Stiles. " I can't begin to explain how fucking stupid this whole thing is. Derek, you're coming with me. Scott, you're staying here. Take some of her pain whenever you can, and be aware of your surroundings, just in case. We won't be long. Fucking immature, egotistical, assholes, fuck." Stiles took his phone and jacket and walked out of the apartment, shortly followed by a seemingly amused Derek.

" Don't look so smug." Stiles shook his head, as Derek chuckled, his tongue protruding past his lips, a clear sign of excitement. Stiles didn't know how he still remembered that.

" I have no idea what you're talking about." Derek shrugged, feigning innocence, but that grin still wouldn't fall. Stiles had to look away, feeling this tug around his heart, like it was willing him closer, urging him to give in.

Stiles called his dad when they were parking outside the club, to facilitate the whole security cameras issue, if possible, but he ended up getting into a twenty-minutes long conversation about leaving in the middle of the night and driving across the country for ex-people-who-weren't-boyfriends-or-friends. Derek had to leave the car, when overhearing, felt like overstepping. Also, when the sheriff started talking about things like pain and heartbreak and sleepless nights and panic attacks and associating all of those with Stiles, in a way that Derek wasn't yet willing to think about.

" All good?"

" Yeah, sorry about that. He worries, you know how he is." There was barely a flash of something across Derek's eyes, before he cleared his throat, nodding, like there was still some truth in there, somewhere.

" So, uh, he should clear things with the lead security guard in there, but we still need to get to that booth, while trying to avoid that thing, in case it's still in there, since, you know, we don't know what it looks like, and whatnot. Also, any temper? Not advisable in there. If he senses any sort of rage, it could target us, before we have anything on it."

" I'm not going to snap, Stiles, relax." Derek rolled his eyes, taking off his jacket, to try and fit more into the scene.

" Sure, you won't." Stiles snorted, ruffling his now longer hair, disheveling the shirt he had on, and dropping his pants a tad. He walked into the club, before acknowledging the eyes he felt on him, because they felt loaded and heavy, and he was trying not to find any more reasons for him to feel things for someone he knew he was about to lose again.

The place was crowded and loud. Neon lights flashing across the dancing floor, shedding more darkness than light, upon the swaying bodies. Stiles pushed through them, until he was somewhat close to the bar. He contemplated ordering a drink, but he was running on no sleep and not enough ADHD meds and he was about to crash as it was. He didn't think alcohol would help with anything, other than making him more vulnerable, less aware. He didn't know what Derek smelled on him, but he ordered them both two waters with lemon, and remained so close to Stiles, like he was trying to remind him, that at least for that moment, he was still there.

" We need to move, I think the security booth is back there." Stiles went to push against Derek, but he stood there, looking down at him, with something like wonder in his eyes, like awe. Stiles' heart gave a painful thud. He wondered if it resonated in Derek's chest too.

" Derek," He hated how there was a goodbye in his name now, every time he called it out loud. In case he decided to leave again. In case he never came back.

" Remember this song, Stiles?" Stiles closed his eyes around black veins and decaying arms and days fading into nights and him and Derek, so young, so oblivious, so confused when it came to feelings and words and just.. life, really. It was the song on the radio, when Scott put Derek into the Jeep, and left them both alone. When Derek told Stiles he'd have to cut off his arm, like he could ever cut into Derek. Back, when love came so close to hate, they didn't know which of them they were feeling.

" God, you were such a jerk back then." Stiles' laughter was wet and choked, but when he opened his eyes, Derek was kind of smiling. Kind of looking close to tears.

" Back then?" Derek raised a curious eyebrow, and Stiles' whole figure moved with the sound of his laughter. Derek wondered how many of those he'd missed. How many of them he'd taken away from Stiles.

" Yeah, some things never change, I guess." Derek let Stiles go past him, when he pushed again, following him until they got to the security booth. The guard was already waiting for them, playing the videos from that night, around the time Cora was supposed to be there.

They saw her, come through the gates with her friends, loud and free and so fucking happy. She never looked like that when she was in Beacon Hills. Stiles had to keep himself from looking at Derek, searching for all the happiness he found, when he left them behind. But then, she was by the bar, and there was this guy, standing a bit too close, like he was trying to corner her. Derek's shoulder immediately tensed, inching closer to the screens, like he could physically threaten the guy's face away from the tapes. The guy had his hand on her back, then it was sliding further down, until he was pinching her bum. An audible groan fell past Derek's lips, his fingers almost clawing at the back of the guard's chair. Stiles stepped closer to him, tried to make it seem like he was trying to get a better look. He was grateful Derek wasn't willing to call him out for any of it.

" That's definitely him." Stiles shuddered, when the guy's face was directly towards the camera, and his eyes flashed with a kind of morbid light. But then, his hands were circling around her, and his lips were falling onto her skin, like they were biting chunks off her, and Derek's fingers were claws now, his breathing coming out strangled.

" Hey, Derek, we can stop. We know how he looks, that's all we needed." Derek was almost unhearing, watching as the guy moved his mouth to hers, his hands moving to cradle her face, before she kicked him between his legs, pushing her elbow into his back when he leaned down, until she was on top of him, throwing punches and kicks and trying not to completely wolf out in the middle of the club.

" That’s my girl." Derek's fingers fell onto the screen, trying to reach out to this version of his sister, save her from becoming what was withering away in a bed somewhere. Then, guards were pulling her off him, and her friends were taking her back to the dancing floor, and she was trying to lose herself to the music, trying to ease the tremble of her figure, into something a bit more graceful, a bit more controlled.

" I'm going to kill him. I can't believe he fucking touched her. Look at her. She is just," So beautiful. So smart and present and strong in ways that boggled Derek's mind sometimes. He couldn't lose her. He no longer had any tolerance or capacity to lose.

Stiles skipped through the tape, until she was back at the bar, with a friend this time, ordering drinks. She turned away to tell them something, before there was something bubbling through her drink, dying out, as soon as she took it between her fingers, putting it to her lips so trustingly, so innocently, Derek felt the realization lumping in his throat, tasting bitter and just.. wrong.

" He drugged her? Fuck. He. That's how he got to her. When she said no, he, he drugged her. **_Stiles_**." It sounded like a whimper. Like a plea. Like a prayer. Stiles gave in, let his hand fall onto Derek's shoulder, latch onto all that was fading away, all that was never truly his.

" We're going to get him. We have what we need now, to get her better. And then, we'll find him, before he does this to more people. It's okay. It's going to be okay." Derek's head was moving into unsteady nods, as Stiles paused the video, took a few stills to be able to identify him later on, before guiding Derek out of the booth, and back to his car.

They called Scott and told him about what they'd found out. It kind of horrified him, to the point where he didn't feel the need to make Derek's life any worse. He still told them about the time Cora's heart sped up so much, he thought it would stop all together. Stiles said it could have something to do with one of the scenarios playing out in her head. He told Scott to call Lydia, see if there was anything else that they were missing, since the woman seemed to know more about these things than all of them put together.

When they got back to the apartment, there was a downwards curve to everything about Derek. He suddenly looked sunken in, carved out, as he collapsed somewhere by his sister, an apology written all around his features. Scott approached Stiles by the door, as if it was instinct to him, to always seek him out.

" Did something happen out there? Are you okay? Did he do anything?" Scott had a hand to Stiles' elbow, prepared to leach out his pain, if needed.

" His sister was sexually assaulted, and you still want to be a whiney asshole, unbelievable." Stiles snatched his arm away so suddenly, he could feel his friend's fingers, marked into his skin.

" Did we get anything from Lydia?" Stiles asked, fixing his attire again, if only to give himself something to do.

" Uh, she said the drugging wasn't an actual drug, was this ball-like thing that the creature releases into its victim's body, it's what gets around their brain, figure out where to attack, where the weak spots are. It's probably why he was trying to kiss her, and when she pushed him off, he put it in her drink." Derek stood to his feet, wiped against his face, determination threading through the devastation on his face, like he was forcing himself to keep it together.

" How can we kill it?"

" From the inside."

" Huh?"

" You have to get inside her brain, and get through to her. She has to realize what's happening, see that it's not real, and stop being angry. Or at least, restrain it. Then, you kill the part of it that's inside, before it gets away. And the part that's out here, dies along with it."

" Okay. Okay, yeah, I can do that." Derek nodded, tried to steady the exhale, that could have very easily, turned into something like a cry.

" Wait, I don't think that's going to work." Stiles moved away from the couch, almost tripped around his feet, as he neared Derek. Scott unknowingly, followed.

" Why not? Scott just said-"

" I know what Scott said. I also know that it's a creature that targets werewolves. Angry, alone, werewolves, does that ring any bells?" Stiles lifted his eyebrows in questioning, looking between Derek and Scott, until realization replaced the confusion across their faces.

" Well, humans can't really get inside other people's brains, Stiles."

" I know that. Which is why, you're the one who's going in. And I'm coming with you."

" Not going to happen."

" Do you have any better ideas?"

" I don't care, Stiles, I'm not letting you mess around my sister's head, that's not happening, figure something else out."

" Like what? I'm not fucking Gandhi of the supernaturals, that's the best we've got."

" It's not good enough. I might need you out here, but in there, it's going to be just me."

" Listen, you conceited son of a bitch," Stiles was fuming, throwing his hands against Derek's chest, with barely any force behind it, " You called me here to save your ass, remember? I'm trying to help your sister, who happens to be, a dear friend of mine. And I'll be damned, if I let something, happen to another one of those. So, either you let me do what needs to be done, or you fucking figure it out yourself, since you're so knowledgeable and capable and not in need of any help at all, got it? Now, make up your goddamn mind, because some of us, have lives outside of all of this. Lives that we happen to care for enough, to not want to leave behind, lives that you're no longer part of, and." Stiles' figure felt like an Autumn leaf, so slow in its collapse, so unsteady in its fall, so willing in the way it followed the wind, whenever it decided to blow. He could feel the words clinging to his cords, scratching at the back of his throat, leaving claws of regret in their wake. He had to swallow, had to breathe, had to find a balance that didn't feel like Derek's arms.

" Stiles," Derek stepped forward. Stiles retrieved so haphazardly, he almost fell, but Scott helped him find his footing again.

" You, uh, you'll access my brain, then hers, and, we'll figure it out from there. Scott will be out here, taking pain from anyone that needs it, and, looking out, in case anything goes wrong. He'll know what to do." Scott nodded, his eyes fearful and young yet so incredibly certain. Derek couldn't remember, what it looked like, to be so sure of anything. Of anyone.

They all started moving back towards the bed that Cora laid on, until Scott tugged at Stiles' arm, halting his march.

" Not this again, Scott, please,"

" I'm sorry. For being a dick throughout this whole thing. You didn't deserve that, and neither did he, but, I was just, worried, you know. About you. You're my best friend, man, and I never want anything bad to happen to you. You're this.. otherworldly thing and you have no idea what you deserve, so you just take shit from people and tell yourself it's okay because you care about them. But it's not. What he did, wasn't okay. What I did, how I acted, wasn't either. I want you to know that I know that. I realize I've been unbearable for most of this trip, and I don't want you to be mad at me, okay? I don't want you to go into this, thinking that I, that I'm this douche who doesn't have your back, because I do. I always will be there for you, Stiles, no matter what happens. This, doesn't change anything. I've got you." Stiles' eyes filled up with tears, which, seriously, how pathetic could he be? He buried himself into his friend, chuckling, like there was anything funny about this at all. Scott was wrapped around him so achingly, so wholeheartedly, it felt so much like coming home.

" I love you, man, I could never be mad at you, are you kidding me? You're my person, Scott, I would never let anything get between us, or change that. Never again, okay? This comes first, then whatever the hell else is going on." Stiles was barely pulling away, firmly putting a hand to Scott's shoulder, needing him to find the truth in his words. Scott nodded, tried to laugh, but almost cried, as he pulled his friend back into his arms.

" Such an idiot, oh my God. But otherworldly, Scott? Really? How many of Lydia's books did you actually **_read_** to come up with that one?" Scott pushed at him then, wiping at his face, despite the grin overshadowing everything else. Stiles was laughing, hand on his chest, eyes squeezed shut, like he didn't want to see anything else, that wasn't his friend, smiling, the way that he was.

" Asshole." Scott whispered, making sure Stiles could audibly hear it, as he started walking towards Cora, followed by a barely contained Stiles, who left a hand on his shoulder, because he wasn't quite willing to lose all touch yet.

" Okay, so, you go in, get to Cora, kill the thing, and come out. No episodes whatsoever, because then, your anger would drive it away from Cora, and towards you, and we don't want that. Got it?" Scott's eyes moved between Derek and Stiles, receiving nods from both of them. He then hugged Stiles again, watching as Derek leaned down, planting a kiss to his sister's forehead, resting his head there, like he couldn't quite carry it all by himself.

" Hey, you too," Scott moved around Stiles, pulling Derek into his arms, before the other had much time to understand what was happening, " Be careful in there. Don't do anything stupid, and, everything else, we'll just.. we'll figure it out later, when Cora is all better."

" Yeah. Thanks, Scott." Derek didn't know if he could will his voice to steady enough to get any more words out. It seemed to be enough for Scott, though, because he had that ever joyous smile on his face, as he patted Derek's back, before standing by the foot of the bed, to give them enough space around Cora.

Derek's claws poked through, as he carefully adjusted them across the back of Stiles' enough, before piercing through. Stiles gave something like a gasping scream, before settling completely. Derek then put his other clawed hand around the back of his sister's neck, repeating the process. And then he was standing with Stiles, in the safe. Cora was half-shifted, restrained by the entrance, seemingly withered away, but she was still tugging at the cuffs, willing them to give, before she did.

Derek was stepping forward, approaching, like it was second nature to him, but then, there were growling figures to his left, electricity coursing through their frames, and Derek could feel things clawing at his chest, urging him to release them into the world. He wondered if it was someone else he loved so much, it kind of broke them. Wondered if his pieces would fall out first, or theirs.

" Shit, it's Erica and Boyd." Stiles was standing closer now, fascinated in a way that almost infuriated Derek further, because although none of that was real, it once had been. Those were people that had existed once in their lives, that they had had to lose, and now, they were being put through it again, as if once wasn't enough.

" Cora, hey, look at me, I'm right here, Cora, please." Derek was waving his hands in front of Cora's face, but she was so far gone, tugging and pulling and roaring at the damage brought upon her friends. Derek thought he would never stop hearing their howls. But then, the scenery changed, Cora was released from her restraints, and she was standing there, massaging her bruised wrists, groaning, to keep from whining.

They were in the woods now. It was dark and uncomfortably quiet. Stiles was looking around, trying to find any indication of where they were, until, he saw Peter, standing in front of the burned ashes of his family home. He barely started to move towards him, when Laura came, with something like a smile across her face. She was so beautiful, so.. whole, Stiles struggled to relate her, to the body torn in half, buried in the filth.

" I can't watch this again. Oh my God, I can't." Derek was shaking his head, squeezing his eyes shut, around the images of his sister, running towards her uncle with open, trusting, arms. Cora was running towards him too, her claws thrown away from her, reaching out, to tear through him, before he tore through her sister.

" Don’t react, Derek. Don't get angry, come on, this isn't real, none of this is real, we have to stay calm." The words tumbled out of Stiles' mouth, but his eyes followed Cora and Laura and Peter, waiting for the collision to happen, for the explosion to throw them away, destroy this illusion around them, and wipe it all clean. But Peter's claws were in Laura's stomach, and her eyes were blown so wide open, they could have rolled out of their sockets. She was making gargling sounds, choking on the blood climbing up her throat, pooling around her lips. And Peter wasn't stopping. Stiles didn't think he could.

When he turned to look at Derek, he had hands against his ears, his mouth mumbling a meaningless mantra, seemingly to overshadow all the things her death sounded like. Cora was collapsed to her knees, her eyes hungry and aware, like she was trying to memorize how everything looked, to further fuel her rage, to give herself more reasons to hurt, to be pissed off at the world and everyone in it.

" Hey, **_Derek_** , you have got to talk to her. We're here for Cora, remember? Come on, she needs your help." Stiles had his hands around Derek's arms, trying to unclench them, untangle what he'd knotted his figure into, like he was trying to escape, within himself. Derek opened his eyes, looked only at Stiles, and whimpered, because he **_couldn't_**. He couldn't do this again. Couldn't be that person, no matter how much they needed him to. No matter how much he wanted to not let them down.

Stiles looked back at Cora, without letting go of Derek. She was dragging her weight towards Peter, whose claws were now left in the air, as red as his eyes now became, after Laura's body had snapped in half around his merciless hands. Cora put her own claws through his back. Shock fell across his features, as he collapsed somewhere next to Laura's body, which, was ironic really, if not incredibly fucked up. Cora wasn't stopping; she was roaring and clawing and tearing so viciously, so inhumanly, Stiles wondered if there was anything of her, left to save.

She was standing over the disfigured body of her uncle, bloody and heaving and almost feral-looking. Then, her eyes fell onto her sister, and the change in her energy, in the furrow of her eyebrows around her eyes, was as immediate as the change of the scenery around them. Like that creature could tell, her anger was reforming into something of sadness, so it had to fuel it again, push her further away from herself.

They were by the house, but it wasn't as dark, or as cold. There was still some life to it. Cora was crying now, pushing all her limbs, all the pieces of herself, closer to that house. Derek was desperately trying to recollect himself, when the sound of laughter poured out of the house. Bone-chilling, terrifying, laughter. He wanted to put his hands back over his ears, wanted to not be there at all, but then, a much younger version of himself was walking out of the house, his arms around Kate's waist, and hers around his neck. Like a switch flicked inside him, Derek was instantly fuming.

" Oh, shit. Oh fuck, Derek, no, you can't do this right now. Keep it together, **_please_** , we need to focus on Cora, and we will never get through to her, if you're just as angry." Stiles was trying to block Derek's vision, keep him focused, and grounded. But then, the house behind them, was set on fire, and everything was burning, except for imaginary-Derek and Kate and real-Derek's claws were coming through, his eyes flickering, like he was trying not to lose all control, trying to restrain himself.

" That's it, you're doing great, Derek. This isn't real, none of this is real, just breathe, come on, calm down." But Cora was shifting, screaming like she didn't have the edge to turn it into a roar this time, as she lunged herself at imaginary-Derek and Kate.

" Derek, **_stop_** , what are you doing? They're burning in there, why **_the fuck_** are you still with her?" Cora yelled at imaginary-Derek, trying to pull him away from Kate, but if Kate was anything, she was persistent.

" Weren't you supposed to be in there too? Why are you out here, huh? Why are you still alive?" Imaginary-Derek was taunting her, tugging at all her little ticks. Derek shook his head, tried to move closer, because he would never. He would never say this shit to her, would never use this against her.

" What is the matter with you? Why are you being like this? Do you have any idea what- what I've just been through? What I've **_seen_**?" She was wiping at her face, frustration intensifying, when the tears wouldn't stop.

" It's not my fault you're always a step too late, Cora. I've seen my fair share of bad things too, but you don't see me, dumping them on you, now, do you? You should grow up. No one has the time or the patience to lick your wounds for you. I certainly don't." Cora was pushing at imaginary-Derek, but he wouldn't give. Derek was running towards them now, trying so fucking hard, not to look at the burning house as it crashed.

" This isn't you. Something is going on here. Did she, manipulate you or something? Are you under some kind of spell? What is this, Derek?" Cora was frantically searching her surroundings, trying to find some sort of exit sign, that could take her anywhere else, just, get her the hell out of there, away from the worst she'd seen of her brother.

" This is our life, Cora. Isn't it great? I'm the Alpha now. I am in love with the most beautiful lady, the smartest too, and I've got no worries in the world. What more could I possibly want?"

" What about **_me_**?" Her voice completely shattered then. She wondered if she'd ever be able to find it again. " What about me, you fucking asshole? You never did anything for me. You just left me there, in that safe, for **_years_**. I had to watch my friends die, because of you. Why, why did you do this? How fucking could you?" Her figure was unsteady, swaying, like the strings holding it together were snapping, one at a time.

" I'm **_sorry_**." Real-Derek howled it out. It was the most pained sound Cora had ever heard. And it broke through to her, as her eyes slowly seeked him out, until she found him, and the relief in her eyes, was something that Derek would never forget.

" I know you're mad at me. I know I fucked up, Cora, but, I'm so sorry. I didn't- I never meant for this to happen. For any of this." He moved his hands around himself and Cora and the house and Stiles. Stiles blamed it on his proximity, his mere presence in the area.

" I.. I loved her, and I let her in, and she- they all died, because of her. Because I allowed her to get to them. I trusted her, and I don't know, how to show you how sorry I am. How-"

" Is that why you think I've been mad at you for so long? Because of the fire, and Kate?" Cora looked so appalled, Derek was contemplating a graceful denial.

" I mean, what else-" She groaned then, shaking her head, like he was nowhere near her point.

" No, you fucking- fuck, that's not it. I don't blame you for that. She's the psychopath who manipulated you then used you to kill your entire family. How are you not as much of a victim in this as any of us?" She didn't really wait for a response from him, knowing that he probably wouldn't give the right one. " I was mad at you because, well, because you were so.. defeated, Derek. When the Alpha pack came into your home, you did nothing."

" I tried fighting them, but they-"

" Don't give me that, come on, I know you. I know what you're capable of. And yeah, maybe I was taken for a few years there, and perhaps, you didn't look for me the way you were supposed to, but,"

" If I had known, Cora, I never would have stopped. I didn't **_know_**. I thought you were gone too."

" And I know that. I believe you. But I get to be a little pissed off at you for it, okay? It probably doesn't make sense to you, but I'm your sister, and I was in that fire, and I saw stuff that no one should ever.. **_ever_** see." She had to swallow, to try to breathe, before she started crying again.

" And it kind of felt like I was left for dead. Like you had more important things to do, than look for me, no matter how long it took, or, how fucked up everything else was. I should have mattered, a little more than I did. At least give me that." Derek nodded, urging her on, like he deserved it.

" So, yeah, coming back to this, hollowed out, surrendered, pessimistic version of you, wasn't something I expected, or appreciated, to be honest. You were dwelling in self-pity, while letting shit happen to everyone around you, and that wasn't okay, Derek. You should have fought harder, for yourself, for us. You should have picked your ass up, and gave it your all. No holding back, no giving up, none of that. Instead, you convinced yourself that this was all some kind of punishment to you, which, honestly, how conceited **_can_** you be to think that? Fix your damn ego, Derek, seriously." She rolled her eyes. He huffed out, something like a laugh, but not really. She went on anyway.

" You didn't deserve what happened to you. We didn't either. You're not a bad person. You're not a bad Alpha. And you definitely weren't a bad son, or brother. Mum was.. she was obsessed with you. So was Laura. And. I want you to stop punishing yourself. Please. I need to know that, that you'll do all I can, in everything you do. You'll give everything and allow yourself to take, when you need to. You need to get your shit together, Derek."

Derek was wobbly in his nods. Cora's hands were trembling, despite the way she hit them against one another, like she was desperately trying to enforce her point. But then, Derek's arms were around her, and she was folding into him instead of herself, and they were both breaking so tragically, collapsing onto themselves, in utter surrender. Derek was five again, holding his baby sister for the first time, and she looked like nothing, but felt like his little piece of the world, like he could shape her into whatever he needed, and she'd turn into just that. And she did. She had been, ever since.

But then, there was something roaring, beating against the walls of their skulls. Cora had her hands around her head, like she was trying to keep it from imploding, but her fangs were poking through again, her eyes bleeding gold. Stiles was on his knees, folded upon himself, like he was made of glass, and Derek could see, all the cracks widening in him, all the things that were seeping through.

" Cora, listen to me. Don't get angry, you can't, this is what he wants. Think of anything else, okay? Don't give in."

" Derek," She whimpered, taking a hand away from her head, and latching onto a handful of his shirt, tugging. It was the first time someone had ever pulled him in, and not pushed away.

" I know. I know it hurts, but you need to be the one to kill him, because he's inside your head, not mine, not anyone else's. Okay, so focus, and don't get angry. Don't lose control, Cora." She nodded, leaned against him, as they pushed into the ground, forming holes that for once, weren't graves. Wouldn't swallow anymore of them. Once, Cora found her balance, despite the tilting grounds beneath her, she pushed away from Derek, retracted her claws and her fangs, and just stood there; welcoming, almost, challenging. Derek felt something stitching in his chest, thought it had to be with pride.

Stiles was still bent around himself, his heart hammering somewhere between all the roars and the screams, and Derek had trouble finding it. But the demon was materializing in front of them, a deformed, twisted, version of what they'd seen at the club. He launched himself at Cora, but right before their collision, she pushed her claws into his stomach, tried not to think of Peter and Laura and how the demon's body, was cracking, instead of splitting in half like Laura's had. The demon roared and roared until it evaporated into a cloud of smoke and ashes. And they were thrown back into reality; like they were waking up. Derek's hands were pulling away from necks. Cora was shifting in her bed, still looking like she'd been dead before, but her chest was mobilizing, expanding and shrinking, and her eyes were opening, finding Derek almost immediately. She was yawning, stretching, looking so oblivious, so comfortable. Derek couldn't stop his arms as they circled around her, pulling her into somewhat of a sitting position, and breathing her in, like it was the very first time. She laughed, but it sounded so sad, it could have been a cry.

" Hey, is that Stiles? What's wrong with him?" Cora mumbled into Derek's chest, and he immediately pulled away. Stiles was on the floor, his head tilted away just enough, to show the three holes at the back of his neck. It looked like he was sleeping, but Scott was tenderly slapping his face, blocking his nose, and trying to provoke any sort of reaction, but he was so.. still.

Derek fell to the ground without a word, his hands hovering around him, like they were figuring out what to do, how to help, without harming him further. Scott was speaking to him, working on each of his senses, willing anything of his to give.

" Stiles, **_come on_**!" Scott was almost crying, almost crumbling, his hands trembling around the pieces of his friend's shirt, tangled around his fingers. Stiles gave a single, shuddering breath, his eyes opening so wide, like he had been drowning, and was barely just resurfacing now.

" Woah, we were in the Matrix just now. We survived the Matrix." Stiles breathed out. Derek's laugh took him by surprise, but he couldn't stop it from coming, because what if he started crying instead? But Scott was pushing at his friend's chest now, a shaky sigh of relief falling past his lips, that were immediately falling into a smile, as he fell away around his knees, completely worn out.

Derek took Stiles' arms, helped him slowly sit up, making sure he was steady enough, before letting go. Cora was turned in her bed now, her head where her feet were, to get closer to them, probably. Her chin was rested against her palm, her face still morbidly pale.

" Look at you, awake and everything. I've got to say, it's fucking good to see you." Cora snorted, choked on it a little, but she pulled her arms out, and waited for Stiles to find his way into them. And he did, carefully, slowly, sure, but he did.

" I have no idea what the hell you're doing here, but I've missed you, so I don't care, that much."

" Yeah. I missed you too." Stiles breathed her in, felt his chest cave a little, as he let Scott help him away from her. Derek sat back on the bed, by Cora's leg, briefly filling her and Scott in. Stiles fell asleep some time between the club, and the safe. It wasn't unexpected though, these things normally wiped out the creatures with super strengths, if anything, they were surprised he made it this far. So, Scott carried him to the couch, and laid with him, while Derek helped Cora into a shower, letting her sleep as soon as they were back to bed.

But Derek was restless, twitching with the effort it took to keep himself upright, to contain all the little bits of himself orbiting around Stiles and how familiar he still smelled and sounded and felt and. Derek could taste the sour taste of departure, of leaving, of loss. And it'd been so long, since he'd told himself he would no longer have to. Because he'd paid his share of pain and heartbreak and grief. He'd lost all those he was supposed to, and a few more too, and he wouldn't have to feel this, ever again. There was barely anyone left for him to lose anyway.

" Scott," Derek carefully moved around the couch, whispering so that only Scott would pick up his voice, and not Stiles. Scott didn't react at all. " Scott, wake up, come on," Derek weakly shoved at Scott's shoulder, the one that wasn't beneath Stiles. Scott hummed, squeezed his eyes shut, before squinting them open, and Derek was right there, uncomfortably close. Scott's mouth opened, to release a groan or a scream or something just as loud, but Derek had a hand over it, silencing him completely. He continued to try to lash out though, like it wasn't there at all.

" You said we were going to talk after. We need to talk."

" I'm sorry, have you missed everything we've been through these past couple of days? This is the first sleep I've gotten in like four days, which, also because of you by the way. But yeah, sure, waking me up barely two hours into my sleep is not at all inconsiderate or,"

" An hour and a half actually. Not two."

" You're **_really_** not helping your case here, Derek."

" Fine, you can go back to sleep if you want, whatever, I'll just, wait, I can do that, definitely."

" I can't just go back to sleep now that you're looking like that, Jesus fucking Christ." Scott detangled himself from Stiles, holding his breath for most of it, to not disturb him any more than he needed to. Then, he was standing in front of Derek, arms crossed against his chest, everything else about him disheveled and so, so tired-looking.

" I don't know, how to, navigate this. You, uh, I just,"

" You woke me up for **_this_**?"

" I'm sorry. Okay? I, I fucked up. I was selfish, and, I abandoned everything and everyone and that wasn't fair. It wasn't right." Derek looked up, trying to dissect Scott's expression.

" Oh don't let me stop you there. Go on." Scott urged, with something of a threatening lifted eyebrow.

" I had to get out of there, Scott. I was losing my mind over all the dead bodies piling up and. I couldn't look him in the eye. Couldn't look at him. And I know that wasn't him, I know he would never do that, but, he did. It looked like him, when I got my arm broken and pulled out of my body. When,"

" If you're going to list all the things that fucking fox did while wearing Stiles' body as a meatsuit, then you can save us both the time. I know what it did. I was there. I actually stayed there, to see what it did to him after. What he did to himself, what you did to him, I was there for all of it, because that’s what you're **_supposed_** to do, Derek. You're supposed to stay, when everything inside you wants out, not just when it's easy or convenient." Derek opened his mouth, to retaliate, to say something, anything, but Scott pushed on, uncaring and unstoppable.

" You think he needed **_you_** , running away from him, to feel like a monster? To feel guilty for what he did, or, what it did when it was in his head? Fuck, no. He was self-punishing, self-destructing way before you ever thought you had the right to add to that. Do you even- did you ever think of reaching out? Of trying to check up on him, or any of us for that matter? Allison had just **_died_** , you know. My mum and his dad came pretty fucking close that night too. And then.. what? You just leave. Because he broke your fucking arm, well, excuse me if I don't feel sorry for you, if I don't share the same sense of compassion, because we needed you, Derek. He needed you, and I- I was so.. fucking **_exhausted_** , all the time, because I had to try to be there for him, but also, I felt all wrong. And. I don't know how you could do that. I just. Can't wrap my head around it. I thought you were better than that. I thought we meant a tad more to you. He did, too, by the way. It was so much worse for him, because he had this unnerving belief in you, and you let him down. You broke his heart in ways, that I can't even begin to explain to you." Scott deflated, lost all the knots that seemed to be tightening him into something that was kind of whole. Derek's face fell, his eyes filling up with tears, that weren't his to cry. Because he'd done this. He knew too. He knew what it would do to them, but it was so much worse hearing it now. It was fucking brutal.

" I know you're not a bad person, Derek. I get that, now that, you know, I managed to settle all that rage and hatred and disappointment down. But you did a pretty shitty thing. I can't sugarcoat it for you, I can't lessen the blow, because he will. He will try to, with everything he has, to make it seem okay, to make you feel less guilty. Like you couldn't even **_try_** to do for him. But he will do it. Not me, though. Not anymore. You might be a good person, but he's way, way better. Than you, than me, than any of us. And to think that he was treated the way that he was, after going through arguably the most traumatic thing ever, I don't know how to make it okay. I don't know if, if I can ever forgive you for that. And I'm sorry, if that makes me a shitty person, or,"

" It doesn't. It.. I deserve that. And more. I know, it's.. it's fine. I know." Derek nodded, assuring and accepting, and it made Scott feel bad, for a mere second, but then, he thought of Stiles, and all the ways he was sunken in now, and he decided he'd always feel worse about that.

" I'm glad he at least had someone like you with him. I.. I'm glad you had him too." Scott smiled, but it didn't sit right across his features.

" I know this doesn't fix anything. I know, nothing ever will. And I'll have that with me, on me, for the rest of my life. I know that, but. You're an Alpha now too, and I hope you never experience the feeling of losing one of your betas. It's like, losing a limb, only, probably, so much worse. And I didn't just lose Boyd, I- they put **_my_** claws, into him. And before that it was Erica. Then it was, Aiden and. And Allison. And. Stiles didn't feel like Stiles, and I didn't feel like anything at all, and, I was terrified, Scott. I was spiraling and you might not know this about me, but when I'm in that mindset, I'm kind of insane. I thought I was becoming Peter. After B- Boyd. I thought I would.. I felt myself losing grip on everything, and I didn't want to hurt him one day. Didn't want to- didn't want to watch him as he turned into me, or into Laura, or," Derek couldn't breathe. His tongue was swelling, heavy and numb, as it forced out all the names of the people that Derek had lost. And Derek, so desperately, tried to keep it from calling out Stiles'. And then, Scott was moving, holding onto him, pulling him in. Derek didn't register his knees buckling, until they were on the ground, Scott wrapped around him like a human blanket –shield-. And Derek knew he didn't deserve it, would never deserve people like Scott and Stiles and Cora but he leaned into him all the same, cried himself raw, and wished these tears could wash any of it away, could drown them, and choke the misery right out of them.

When Stiles woke up, he found Derek and Scott, a heap of limbs and slacked open mouths and heads on top of one another, on the ground, somewhere right in the middle, between the couch, and Cora's bed. So naturally, he woke Cora up first, to make sure she was doing better, but also, to show her the rather comical scene, before waking them both up, by all their laughter and plotting and ooh's and aah's. Derek rolled his eyes, but continued to spoon Scott, until the other started groaning and complaining about how he could never get any proper sleep with them around.

Derek made breakfast for all of them, while they each went through their morning routines. They ate, did the dishes, then Stiles was collecting his few belongings, urging Scott to do the same. Scott's phone rang, and it was his mother, and he told her, they were just about to leave. And so they did. Stiles held Cora for a bit too long, but she didn't will him away, until he seemed to be ready to let go. He smiled at Derek, figured a wave would be enough, but then Derek tugged at his arm, and he crashed into his chest. Stiles allowed himself to be held, to be thanked, for a little less than a minute, before he was pushing against Derek, hating himself and hating Derek almost in equal parts. Scott said his farewells too, promising to call in, because apparently, that was a thing now, that he wanted to do.

They were by the door, when Cora was pushing at Derek, calling out how he would walk them to the car. It was more awkward than it needed to be, than it should have been, but nothing was ever how it was supposed to be with them. Stiles and Scott threw their belongings into the backseat, Scott hugged Derek again, patting his shoulder in a silent consolation, or reassurance, or something. He got in the car, looked away, giving them some kind of privacy, that they didn't know they needed, until Stiles had his hand on his door, thinking how long overdue this goodbye was, wondering if it would have felt the same, all those years ago.

" Uh, Stiles, I. Thank you."

" You said that already." It wasn't mean in any way. Nothing Stiles ever said was.

" Yeah, I know. But. I don't know what I would have done without you. You saved Cora's life. And, that's something, I can't even begin to put into words. I owe you. Probably, everything."

" It's not that big of a deal. You two did all the work, we just helped a little. Plus, she's a friend, you know I'd always try to keep her safe." Derek wondered if he was in that category too. If he could count on Stiles, to do the same for him. He knew he could, even without Stiles ever saying it out loud.

" I know. I know you will." Derek nodded, trying to smile, or at least, not cry.

" Well, take care of her. And of yourself, of course. I- I mean, I don't know, if see you soon, is the right thing to say, or goodbye, or,"

" I'll come visit. If you wouldn't mind, I, I will." Stiles didn't know how many times he'd be able to say goodbye to him, didn't know how many more ways, he could lose him. He nodded anyway, knowing that he'd take whatever Derek could spare.

" Sure. Yeah. That- I'm sure everyone back home would like that." There was no change in his heartbeat, no lie in his voice.

" Then I will. Soon. When Cora is all better."

" Okay, sounds good." Stiles tried not to smell of longing and craving and joy. Didn't know how many things he could smell of, at once, but he was pretty sure, he reeked of **_everything_**.

" Stiles,"

" Yeah?"

" I don't want you to be mad at me. I never meant to hurt you, not like this, and it.. I hate that I can see that I did. I can see all the ways that I did hurt you and. I'm sorry. Please, just. Try to give me another chance. I promise, God, I **_promise_** , I'll never do anything like this again. Regardless of how I feel or all the things that are going wrong, I- I won't just leave. I won't let you down again. Just, let me prove it to you." A single tear clung to Stiles' lashes, before falling away. He wiped at it, looked away from the openly aching eyes and the desperation printed all around the normally stoic features.

" Hey, Scott." Stiles called, without turning to face him. He didn't want to turn his back on Derek, didn't want him to find out how that felt.

" Right here, bud."

" How is the heartbeat?" Scott smiled, kind of laughed, angled himself more towards them, than away.

" Strong and steady, Stiles. Nothing wrong with it." Stiles nodded, breathed out, like he'd been holding his breath for ages.

" Good to know. See you around, Derek. By the way, the roads on Saturdays are horrible. And Mondays are the busiest work days, because, you know, Mondays. And." And Derek was pushing him into the door, keeping him there, like **_he_** was the one that was always leaving. Stiles' breath hitched, and when it started again, it was into Derek's mouth. Scott cheered at first, then, he was making gagging sounds, whining about permanent scarring and traumatic experiences, and Stiles was laughing, but it was vibrating across Derek's insides.

Stiles and Scott drove away, lighter, and happier than they'd been in.. like, forever. Derek didn't last a week –four days- before he was pushing Cora into his car, and driving back to Beacon Hills. It was a Saturday, and the roads were indeed horrible, but he figured, Stiles was worth it. Stiles would always be, worth it.


End file.
